Sunday, July 22, 2012

A someday talk with my grandsomeone




Every once in a while, I think about this question:  What’s happy?

It sounds tedious but it's not. It's tedious if you wake someone up to talk about it with you.

I think about these questions because someday, I will grand-sit a grandsomeone who may ask, “What does happy mean Grandmummy, and why are you wearing a necklace with a skeleton on it?” After l remind my grandsomeone that it's almost Halloween and that this is what fun Grandmummies wear to keep from being tedious be festive, I'll have something to offer:

Happy is knowing what you’re doing next and always having something to look forward to.

"Want to” things are happier when “have to" things are out of the way, I'll say, and I'll give an example: "Wouldn't it be more fun to go to Petco for a goldfish when the homework is done then to come home with the goldfish and have to wait until you finish homework to watch it swim and give it a name?"

My grandsomeone will ask if we can buy a goldfish later and I will think it over.

Also, I’ll explain that happy isn’t getting what you want as much as knowing what you want. And, that it's a feeling and not a thing. The feeling of seeing someone you miss the second they get off a plane, of winning a contest, of waking up on the first morning of summer vacation, of learning to pedal a bike.

My grandsomeone will tell me that the perfect name for a goldfish would be "Goldie," and I'll agree.

Then I'll tell my grandsomeone that life is happier if you ask questions of it. For instance, I'll say, "Better to plan life or live it? Take the shorter, easier path or the twisty, interesting one? Better to be brave or honest?  A dreamer or a thinker? Popular or respected?"

My grandsomeone will answer every question with "Both," and because that is the correct answer to many either-or things, I will point that out.

Then I'll ask my grandsomeone if we should go to Burger King or McDonalds for lunch and my grandsomeone will look confused and say, "Both?" and I'll say, "No. Let's go to McDonald's because the french fries are healthier."

It's not going to happen soon, but it's possible that I will have this kind of conversation with a grandsomeone some day. It's possible I'll be asked a question like, What is happy?  It's not in my DNA to be a grandmummy who says, "Gosh, grandsomeone, I've never thought about that."

So I'm thinking ahead. I already love the drive-thru. All I need is a skeleton necklace.