|Where I am|
Every once in a while, I feel extraordinary attunement with the moment I'm in, which is also known as the present.
In that moment, I know I am
taking care of the people I love,
doing what I must to remain centered,
reaching out when someone else needs help.
I know I can
counsel myself away from a regrettable comment,
walk away from drama,
I know I have
done my part,
pulled my weight,
shown my love.
Emptied the trash.
Bought ice cream for my husband.
I know now
that originality is more important than popularity,
that the way to change behavior is to imagine how you'll remember it when you're older,
that I have taken the right things from my mistakes,
and have started to forget the rest.
Every once in a while, I don't think about improving
or being read or seen or heard,
or noticed at all.
I don't dwell on times I've been in pain because in persevering, I've become a person I once didn't think I could be.
I don't look back,
I don't look ahead,
I just look.
Every once in a while, in that still moment of the present, I realize,
I am not what I once wanted to be,
but what I am supposed to be.
I don't have what I once wanted,
but what I've always needed.
I don't hope for things to go well
but realize that things go the way they will,
and that "well" is up to your view of them.
Every once in a while, I feel really comfortable and I realize...
It's not a mood,
It's not a good night's sleep,
It's not that I'm behaving,
It's not that I got good news or found money.
I feel really comfortable because I understand,
I'm not looking anymore,
I'm remembering it.
Because right now,
up or down,
I'm where I'm supposed to be,
before I go anywhere else.