Here is a place I often move to in my head. |
I would love to be a person who wakes, flips
the covers back, and says:
“Hi, new day! I’ve been looking forward
to seeing you since yesterday! And, look! The sun’s not even up and my novel is
waiting, my essay is nearly done, and I’m doing arms and legs in my work out
today! I love arms and legs days!”
Instead, I start writing before dawn, but
often interrupt myself to check news, and Facebook, and texts, and email
before coming back to the (now relatively) less compelling page.
If I’m really lazy, I’ll
think about what I should be doing instead, until it’s too late to do the
instead.
I fight this more often than I like to admit.
Most of the time I win, but the point is, I struggle to muster the discipline
so often, I wonder if my goals are realistic if I have to work that hard.
They are, and I know they are because I am
never happier than when I’ve written something I like, and completed
a respectable work-out and moved through my day so that at a
decent hour, I’m preparing a great meal and reading while I wait for things in
the oven. That’s it. That’s my daily satisfaction-map.
My sister-in-law, Christine Cook, is a
personal health coach who runs a successful health and fitness website
called Positive
Energy as well as an online self-improvement program on
Facebook called Positive Energy Insiders. The members consist mostly of women
over forty who are pausing at this midlife juncture to think hard about
the things that make them happy, or could. With prompts from Christine, members
are learning to execute routes to happier living.
And why must we rely on prompts if we know
what makes us happy?
Because it's easier to remain behind the start
line where it’s warm and comfortable, than it is to do the work of moving
forward and then staying in motion.
In a stressed out world it can be easy to
confuse a low-conflict life with being happy. But real happiness can involve
work. It may not be work to be grateful, or pleasant, or compassionate and
creative or nice. But to the extent that happiness is about getting back what
you put in, it can be work to be happy. For many of us, the idea of
putting into each day what might feel just outside the reach of our will, can
lead to putting semi-stimulating but less energy-producing things first.
Like news, or videos, or articles or who
ate what, went on vacation, had a baby, got married or is celebrating a
friend-versary on Facebook.
But.
If you’ve discovered the spirit and self-awareness
to a) know you need something more, and b) have visualized what that
is, and c) have identified your own obstacles, there is a pretty
good chance that in direct proportion to the effort you make, you’ll experience
more happiness than you're used to.
Inspired by Melinda Gates, one of Christine’s prompts recently was to create a word that speaks to our general desire to accomplish or produce or realize goals and tasks that we know will relax our minds, energize our bodies, and open our hearts to humor, love and gratitude.
Inspired by Melinda Gates, one of Christine’s prompts recently was to create a word that speaks to our general desire to accomplish or produce or realize goals and tasks that we know will relax our minds, energize our bodies, and open our hearts to humor, love and gratitude.
I resist how-to’s in general if I think I can
do things through sheer will. But this prompt – a word that encapsulates
drive, passion, and who you wish to be, well, sign me
up.
My word is Move, and it’s
working.
Forget should-haves, or when will I’s, or why
can’t I’s. All of those are things we tell ourselves about unmet goals, and if
we’ve developed a plan to live more happily around a warm-up routine of regret
and self-pummeling, it’s like trying to run in deep water.
So, if you are lucky enough to be able, body
and mind-wise, to even work toward “happy,” let that word of yours pull on your
sleeve, and make it your partner. Because, the right word may be all the
power you need to push you over that start line, where it will feel too good to
go backwards.
Me? The sun isn't even up, I wrote this whole
post, and now I am in motion.
You've given me a lot to ponder. Move is a great word for 2020!
ReplyDeleteSo well stated.
ReplyDelete