Pet Peeves #6: Finally, it's time for the rest of the year.

This person probably also parks
in front of supermarket entrances
and works someplace where he or she
isn't familiar with his or her own inventory.

We're putting our realistic tree away today. I came downstairs this morning and felt about its presence the way I would about a guest who was supposed to leave a few days ago, but is still on the couch. 

Two things happen right after Thanksgiving. The tree goes up, and debate begins over when to start the music. There is usually agreement that music before December 1 is too soon. Then, we consider that stores have been decorated for days, and, that having the tree up for a week with no seasonal background music is like trying to have a romantic dinner without candles. 

Our collection of holiday CDs is mixed, from the Rat Pack to the Vienna Children's Choir, which I like to play the way we did in Christmases of olde – on a five-disc carousel that offers a shuffle feature. By mid-December, it's no longer strange that Ave Maria is followed by the soundtrack to "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."

Every year, the stretch between Thanksgiving and New Year's progresses like a vacation that goes a few days too long. You become your most sentimental self while you marinate in memories, hear poignant stories of humanity and loosen your heart to make people know they're loved. You let up on your diet, take the high road, and let everything go that might normally irritate you.

Until you can't stand it anymore. 

And then it's not time to put the tree away, it's "When are we taking that thing down?" It's not time to pack up the CDs with a sweet sigh, it's "Jesus God, if I hear Silent Night one more time I'm going to have to take a walk." 

It's time for Pet Peeves, is what it is. 

Herewith:

1. People who don't shovel the roof of their car after a big storm. Is it because they don't need to see through the roof to drive? Or is it just that they have never been behind a vehicle on the highway wearing several inches of snow which doesn't fall off, but flies off by the sheet into the windshield of the car behind them? 

2. Error messages you don't understand and never will like this: "Failed to initialize Microsoft. Please reinstall the platform." If you do, that's fantastic. If you're like me you reboot and pretend it never happened.

3. People who park in front of the entrance to a supermarket to wait for someone who is inside shopping, and has probably run into their best friend from high school. It's correlational, but they also seem to drive massive trucks that impede two way traffic and make it necessary for shoppers to approach the little ramp into the lot single file.

4. Unmanned or unwomaned departments in stores. At Petco-where-the-pets-go I wandered around for several minutes one day, helpless. There were only one or two customers in Birds and Fish and the only employee I saw was taking off an apron and walking into a rest room. I was not there to buy new filters for Gus's fountain, I was there to ask someone several dozen questions about puppies. This happens in other large stores, of course. You're left to hunt for a while before you find someone hiding behind their inventory project, hoping you don't need them because they're busy.

5. This expression: "Pick your brain." I will never hear that without conjuring a visual that is very unpleasant.

And this one: "Keep your eyes peeled." I will never hear that without thinking of eyes that look like grapes.

6. Facebook memes that say things like, "What would you accomplish if fear were not in your way?" I get it, but fear is sprawling and vague and rooted in myriad experiences. Getting rid of it leads to happier living which leads to possibilities, but it's not choosing the right shoes to wear on the path. It is the path. 

7. Perfumed trash bags. It's confusing. You will never like the smell of trash better, and you will likely hate the smell of lavender forever after you've paired it with the smell of trash. 

8. Store employees who answer the question: "Do you carry (whatever)?" with the answer: "I don't think so, I've never heard of it." And then, because you're still standing there, say, "Wait, what does it look like?" And then, after you explain that you don't know because it's an ingredient you've never used, do one of two things: offer to ask their manager which is the supermarket version of "No, but we can order it," or, seize the opportunity to leave their boring task and help you hunt. "Let's try Asian spices, maybe it's there." 

That's actually not a peeve, that's just worth mentioning.  

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In hopes that you have found your own safe exit from the snow globe of the past six weeks, and encounter as few of these peeves as possible, but will write about other ones you do encounter so I can keep my eyes peeled, I thank you for visiting and wish you a great day and fearless year.

XO